Let me have your attention please. This is Orson speaking; I have a few announcements. What's that? When was I born? If you must know, I was born in Seymour, CT., at Jen Williams', I was a litter behind my brother Leo, (father, Booboo, mother, Puff). 
   It has been brought to my attention that some of you cats have been scratching at the furniture instead of the regulation scratching post. I can hardly intercede with management for restrictions on the use of the spray bottle, if some of you cats insist on ignoring their most basic requests. Kittens, this is the time when the habits of a lifetime are formed, so curb those claws.
I have secured a firm promise that the immediate cessation of counter patrols will result in canned food & cat milk being served before bedtime. Again, Kittens, tidy up those toys before bed.
  Now on a personal note, I'm wounded. Some individual saw fit to line the litter box with the only copy of my manifesto ‘ One Hundred & Thirty Rules for Cats to live by'.